The Ultimate Guide on What to Wear to a Wedding

Once upon a time, you would know what to wear to a wedding because the time of day would determine your dress. Not so much anymore. Let’s begin by discussing the different levels of attire for weddings.

Wedding Guest

There are at least Six levels of dress for weddings

Listed from the most formal to most casual

White Tie

This is the most formal attire possible. Women should wear a formal floor-length evening gown, no exceptions. Pair your dress with jewelry, heels, and an elegant clutch. Men are required to wear a tuxedo with tails, a formal white shirt, white vest and bow tie, white or gray gloves, and formal footwear, such as derby shoes or oxfords. A white tie event should never occur before five o:clock pm.

White Tie Attire

If you’re planning a wedding and are debating on whether or not to request a white tie dress code, the expense might deter guests from being able to attend, in which case a black-tie attire might be a second-best option.

Black Tie

This is the next most formal and usually means the wedding is an evening event. Women should wear a formal floor-length gown that does not reveal the ankles at the hem of the dress, but if the wedding seems a bit less formal, a sophisticated cocktail dress may also be acceptable. Women may also wear elegant pantsuits. Men must wear a tuxedo. A black bow tie, black vest or cummerbund, and patent leather shoes are also suggested. For summer weddings, a white dinner jacket and black tuxedo trousers are also acceptable. A black tie affair should not start before 5pm

Example of Couple in Black Tie Attire

Formal (Black Tie Optional)

The wording here indicates something slightly less formal than black-tie is acceptable. So, a tuxedo isn't required, but the event is still formal enough for one to be appropriate. The choices are the same as with black-tie: a floor-length gown, a fancy cocktail dress, or a dressy pantsuit. As far as women are concerned, there's not much of a difference between black-tie attire and black-tie optional attire, although Mae says it's more acceptable to wear a dress that shows the ankles (which is not true of a black-tie dress code). Men have the option of wearing a tuxedo, or they can wear a formal dark suit, white shirt, and conservative tie.

Formal

Cocktail

Cocktail attire is a popular dress code choice. It's a balance between elegant and comfortable and typically more formal than a day wedding but more casual than a night celebration. Instead of a floor-length dress, women should opt for a tea-length, knee-length, or midi dress. Men are required to wear a suit and tie, regardless of the wedding's setting. Remember to look classy and polished, but don't wear something overly embellished or fancy that you take away from the newlyweds.

Cocktail Attire, but probably should be wearing a tie

Semi-Formal

Part of dressing for a semi-formal or dressy casual wedding is taking the time of the wedding into account. Wear darker, formal colors for an evening wedding, and choose light colors and fabrics for a daytime wedding. Try a below-the-knee dress or a dressy skirt and top. Floor-length gowns, however, would be inappropriate. If the ceremony is being held outdoors and you'll be walking across a lawn, avoid traditional heels that will likely get stuck in the grass. Men should wear a dress shirt and slacks, dark or light depending on the time of day, with the option to wear a tie.

Couple in semi-formal attire

Some other levels wedding attire you may come across are: Festive, Tropical, Casual

What Not To Wear

• Never Wear White

• Never Try to Upstage the Wedding Couple

• Dont Wear something skimpy

• Never Wear Jeans

Where to instruct your guest what to wear

Mentioning a dress code ensures your event stays as formal or as casual as you want, and it’s helpful for guests to know exactly what is expected of them for attire. Here you will find some helpful ideas for wording your Dress Code whether you’re hosting a formal or casual wedding.

A separate Information / Details card

If you are including a Details or Information card with other important information for your guests, use this to list your dress code as well as it keeps your invitation nice and simple.

Your Wedding Website

If you are already providing a wedding website for other details and important information for guests, use this space to also list your dress code.

If you'd prefer not to explicitly state the dress code, that's okay too. Instead, your invitation design can clue guests in. For example, a traditional invite with letterpress and calligraphy hints at a formal event, whereas an invite with a playful font and bright colors fits a casual style.

The general rule for dress code basically says not to include a dress code on your main invite. Your guests should be able to assume the level of formally based on the venue and time of day of your event.

However, if your dress code is a bit out of the ordinary, go ahead and indicate the dress code on the bottom right corner of your invitation. Another option is to include a separate attire card in your suite or save some paper by putting the information on your website.

How to Avoid a Boring Wedding

At The French Bee Events in New Bern, NC, we love nothing better than a good party. We also realize that a wedding is far more than a good party. It is a celebration of your commitment to join your life with another and we consider it, quite a sacred day.

The Question is, how do you honor the significance of the day and still keep it a high energy, fun party?

Bride Having Fun at her reception in Atlantic Beach, NC

The timeline is of utmost importance for a wedding for a multitude of reasons. If you have a well written timeline, it will make sure that the customs that you want observed are in your day and it will also keep things rolling so that everyone knows what is happening and no one is standing around wondering, “what next?”

At The French Bee, we usually get a lot of those traditional items done earlier on in the evening. Things such as toasts, first dances and so on. That way the energy of the party can build organically and not be interrupted.

Father makes a toast at wedding at Coral Bay Club in Atlantic Beach

Toast……………Toasts are very important and give people that are close to us a time to say things that are important to them and to you. They do not all have to be done at the wedding reception. Some can be done at the rehearsal dinner the night before. I actually don’t love public speaking so I took my son and daughter-in-law to a private spot and toasted them in private. Your guest may not enjoy sitting through speech after speech. During your reception, try to limit the number of speakers, and ask them to try to keep it short.

Music……..So, so important! Even during dinner, you want upbeat music. Obviously people want to be able to talk, but you never want dull elevator music. Everyone has different taste in music, but whatever genre you choose, they is always an upbeat choice you can find. It is your band or DJ’s job to get people out of their chairs and onto the dance floor at the appropriate time. It is quite the art for that person who is in charge of your music to gage your guest and create the best atmosphere for them to have fun. At The French Bee, we don’t do a lot of announcements or games to create that atmosphere, we depend on really great music to do that job. It is also important that they continue to build on that energy, we have seen too many receptions start to really be fun and energetic and for the music to slow down or play a bad song and guest will start to leave.

Lighting ……….People will not dance if the lights are bright. I don’t know why, but it is a fact! The correct lighting really helps create that overall feeling. Can you remember going to a reception in the hotel banquet room and the florescent lights were on, did you stay long?

Temperature ……..Remember when you get a lot of people together, it can become quite warm due to body heat. People don’t want to dance if it is too hot or cold Make sure to ask your venue to chill the room before you get there, or if is an outside wedding, try to take advantage of breezes and consider fans or space heaters .

Clear top Tent in New Bern, NC

People have short attention spans

People really do have short attention spans. Something should change every 15-20 mins. throughout the evening. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, It could be a new drink is offered that wasnt offered before or a new appetizer. The lighting can change, or some little thing that keeps your guest guessing.

So best of luck. Hopefully this blog has helped you a little with your upcoming wedding

Finally, A Wedding as a Guest

So Cinderella finally got to go to the ball!! We were invited to the most amazing wedding this past weekend in Beaufort, NC and it was so nice to be a guest! It also let me remember how it feels to be on the other side.

Wedding couple’s first dance

What I appreciated as a guest:

• Cocktail hour- there were 3 full bars, I was not going to ever be thirsty!

• Cocktail hour- The father of the bride sounds just like Frank Sinatra and did an amazing job singing

• Reception- It was Beautiful

• Reception- it was very interactive, they had a photographer at a rose covered wall where you could have your photo taken and also had photographers coming by the tables and taking pictures as well.

• Reception- Tons of passed apps, such as shrimp on a grit cake, paper cones of charcuterie, chicken and waffles with droppers of syrup.

• Father did a entire album and passed out the link along with hour glasses begging the couple not to blink because time goes by so quickly

charcuterie cone

Things I learned as a guest

• They had a beautiful tent and had the entire back wall drapped in organza fabric, and was great and it covered a view that wasn’t terribly pretty. But it blocked any ventilation so it made the temperature in the tent very warm. As a designer, I too think about the look over the comfort, I need to remember this lesson

• That by the end of the evening I would have liked a seat. I know lounge furniture is expensive, but I want to figure out how to have more places to perch for people. Maybe benches placed here and there. I will have to put some thought into that

• I also realized that as a guest the last thing I wanted was food spilled down the front of my outfit. So I avoided anything that I thought was messy.

• I learned that you don’t need to have a seat for every guest if you aren’t having a full dinner, but you need enough cocktail tables for every guest to have a place to put their plates, which this wedding did. They had just enough for everyone

• I also observed that no one would dance until the lights were dimmed.

lounge furniture at Beaufort NC wedding

Beautiful flower arrangement at front of stage

All in all, I had a wonderful time! I got to go out in the boat during the day and got to come back and have plenty of time to get dressed. I only want to wish McKenzie and Tanner an entire life of happiness. And to thank them for including me in their beautiful celebration.

The French Bee Flips

Wedding in Beaufort NCI

In over 20 years of business, I have never had to flip a wedding. I think I would like to go another 20 years before flipping another one. Although it was not as bad as I imagined it.

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In Beaufort, NC, there is a wonderful museum, called the Harvey J. Smith Watercraft museum. It is a great old warehouse on the waterfront in historical Beaufort. Volunteers gather here, to build boats, one would have found native to Beaufort before the turn of the century. Before you ask, yes it is dusty and yes, there are a lot of things you would usually see at a wedding. But that is what makes it awesome!!!!! The volunteers take almost a full week getting the space cleared out to enable a wedding to take place here.

Couple on docks in Beaufort NC

There were 110 guest attending this 4 o’clock wedding. So as wedding planners, we of course had the chairs set and musicians ready for Kaylee, the bride to walk down the aisle. No Problem! BUT THEN, as the happy couple and all their guest went out onto the deck to listen to the steel drum band and drink Ranch Waters, and bourbon smashes, the wedding planners and vendors had 1 hour to totally transform the room to be ready for a plated dinner for 110. So not only did the tables have to be brought in, the caters had to set the tables, the floral designers had to get flowers on the tables and all the candles and lights as well.

Dinner table ready for guest at the Harvey Smith watercraft museum

We had to shimmy around each other, dance around surf boards and untangle fairy lights. We did it, though and we did it in an hour.

you ask how did we make it happen. We had choreographed getting the chairs and tables organized and getting the garlands on the tables. We do our own in house florals at The French Bee, so we had that all figured out. It went as smoothly as possible.

What would be do different? I think if we can communicated better with the cater and found out their plan, it may have been easier to work around each other. We could have asked them to start at one end and we could have started at the other. I guess we would have still met in the middle and had to dance around each other after all.

All in all, we were thrilled on the outcome and the clients were even more so. Congratulations to Kaylee and Mike, may your marriage be as smooth as your wedding flip was

100 First Dance Songs for Weddings in New Bern, NC

Your first dance is one of the highlights of your wedding. This is your chance to have a special moment with your partner before the craziness of the partying descends again. But what song should you choose for your first dance wedding song?? With so many songs out there we know the options sometimes seem overwhelming….whether you are looking for a song that is more of a love letter to each other or a power ballad or just a fun song to dance too – there are so many great options out there! And maybe the song you choose seems a bit random but if it fits the two of you, then it’s perfect!! To help with the process, The French Bee Events, in New Bern, North Carolina curated our favorite songs – from timeless classics to the unique songs you won’t hear at every wedding – so hopefully there will be a song for the two of you on this list!

Bride and Grooms first Dance in New Bern, NC

When is the first dance at my wedding?

At The French Bee, we recommend scheduling the first dance right after the couples introduction. We find that beginning the reception with the first dances really gets everyone ready to enjoy the party. We find that once the momentum of a party starts building, it is nice if it can continue to build with minimum interruptions.

When should you choose your first dance wedding song?

You and your partner should have fun with this! No rush picking your song if you aren’t sure of what song. Talk about whether you want to enjoy a slow first dance or have a more upbeat first dance song – and then comes the fun part of choosing the song! At The French Bee Events we ask that our couples have the song picked out at least 8 weeks before the wedding and maybe longer if the band needs to learn the song.

wedding favors

How do you make your first dance special?

Some of our wedding couples in Eastern North Carolina decide to choreograph a first dance number, some just take this time to really spend it with each other and have a brief minute to chat – there is no right or wrong answer! n fact, you don’t need a first dance if that isn’t your jam. Like we say, the only rule at your wedding is there are no rules. :)

Wedding couples first dance

How do you pick your first dance wedding song?

You might already have “that special song” – whether it’s when you first met, a song from your first date, or when you first said I love You, But if not, no worries! That’s what w

The French Bee is here for! . Check out our list of songs to help find the best first dance song for your wedding…

Romantic First Dance Wedding Songs

1. At Last – Etta James

2. Luckiest – Ben Folds Five

3. (There Is) No Greater Love – Amy Winehouse

4. I’m Kissing You – Des’ree

5. Perfect – Ed Sheeran

6. Moon River – Frank Sinatra

7. The Look of Love – Dusty Springfield

8. Rewrite the Stars – Zac Efron, Zendaya

9. Only Love – Ben Howard

10. Find Someone Like You – Snoh Aalegra

11. All of Me – John Legend

12. Your Precious Love – Erykah Badu

13. La Vie En Rose – Emily Watts

14. Into My Arms – Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

15. Crystal – Stevie Nicks

Slow First Dance Songs

1. Let’s Stay Together – Al Green

2. Maybe I’m Amazed – Paul McCartney

3. I’ll Be Seeing You – Billie Holiday

4. Shallow – Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper

5. Crash Into Me – Dave Mathews Band

6. Time After Time – Cyndi Lauper

7. If I Ain’t Got You – Alicia Keys

8. The Way You Look Tonight – Frank Sinatra

9. Thinking Out Loud – Ed Sheeran

10. Beyond – Leon Bridges

11. Heartbeats – Jose Gonzalez

12. Harvest Moon – Neil Young

13. She Chose Me – Bruno Major

14. You Are the Best Thing – Ray LaMontagne

15. Coming Home – Leon Bridges

16. Your Song – Elton John

17. Make You Feel My Love – Adele

18. Pure Imagination – Stephanie Tarling

19. I Get To Love You – Ruelle

20. Touching Heaven – Johnnyswim

21. We are Man And Wife – Michelle Featherstone

22. Of course for our North Carolina couples, Carolina on my Mind-James Taylor

Upbeat First Dance Songs

1. You Make My Dreams (Come True) – Hall & Oates

2. Fell in Love With a Girl – The White Stripes

3. Lovesong – The Cure

4. I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor – Arctic Monkeys

5. Here Comes Your Man – Pixies

6. Kiss Me – Sixpence None the Richer

7. Uptown Funk – Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars

8. Shut Up and Dance – WALK THE MOON

9. You’ve Got the Love – Florence + The Machine

10. Happy – Pharrell Williams

11. I’m Yours – Jason Mraz

12. Just Like Heaven – The Cure

13. How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) – Marvin Gaye

14. Better Together – Jack Johnson

15. Can’t Take My Eyes Off You – Frankie Valli

16. Let’s Stay Together – Al Green

17. We Found Love – Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna

18. Love on Top – Beyoncé

19. Is This Love – Bob Marley & The Wailers

20. Marry You – Bruno Mars

21. Symphony – Clean Bandit ft Zara Larsson

22. Everything – Michael Bublé

23. Boogie Wonderland – Earth Wind and Fire

Indie First Dance Wedding Songs

1. Sweet Disposition – The Temper Trap

2. Re:stacks – Bon Iver

3. Somewhere Only We Know – Keane

4. Do You Realize?? – The Flaming Lips

5. Tonight, Tonight – The Smashing Pumpkins

6. I Found You – Alabama Shakes

7. Loving You – Paolo Nutini

8. Say You Won’t Let Go – James Arthur

9. How Long Will I Love You – Ellie Goulding

10. The One – Kodaline

11. January Wedding – The Avett Brothers

12. Happy Accidents – Saint Motel

13. As Lovers Go _ Dashboard Confessional

14. First Try – Johnnyswim

15. Toothpaste Kisses – The Maccabees

16. I’ll Wait – The Strumbellas

17. Highs & Lows – Alexander Jean

18. Swept Away – Avett Brothers

Pop/Rock/Hip Hop First Dance Songs

1. Us Against the World – Coldplay

2. You & Me – Dave Matthews Band

3. Mirrors – Justin Timberlake

4. Hold You in My Arms – Ray LaMontagne

5. Lucky – Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

6. Walls – Tom Petty

7. Love You For A Long Time – Maggie Rogers

8. LOVE. – Kendrick Lamar, Zacari

9. Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

10. In Your Arms – illenium, X Ambassadors

11. Thank You – Led Zepplin

12. A Sky Full of Stars – Coldplay

13. Dancing in the Moonlight –Thin Lizzy

14. Clear – NEEDTOBREATHE

15. Party of Two – Jesse McCartney

Covers/Remix First Dance Songs

1. XO – John Mayer

2. Lovesong – Adele

3. I Wanna Dance With Somebody – Ben Rector

4. Imagine – Jack Johnson

5. How Deep is Your Love – the bird and the bee

6. Your Song – Ellie Goulding

7. Sweet Child O’ Mine – Taken by Trees

8. I Kissed a Girl – William Fitzsimmons

9. Lover – Taylor Swift (First Dance Remix)

10. May I Have This Dance (Remix) – Francis and the Lights featuring Chance the Rapper

11. Run Away With Me – San Fermin

12. L-O-V-E – Imaginary Future

13. We Found Love – Tyler Ward

14. Stay With Me – Angus & Julia Stone

15. Friday I’m in Love – Janet Devlin

Country First Dance Songs

1. Speechless – Dan + Shay featuring Tori Kelly

2. More of You – Chris Stapleton

3. I Am Yours – Andy Grammar

4. God Gave Me You – Blake Shelton

5. Better Together – Luke Combs

6. Die a Happy Man – Thomas Rhett

7. Yours – Russell Dickerson

8. Making Memories of Us – Keith Urban

9. Last Shot – Kip Moore

10. To June This Morning – Ruston Kelly and Kacey Musgraves

11. History in the Making – Darius Rucker

12. Blessed – Thomas Rhett

13. Darlin’ Companion – Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash

Couple dancing on Black and white dance floor

2022 Spring Color Palettes + Trends to Pair Them With

It’s not surprising that spring is such a popular time of year to say "I do." Not only is the weather pleasant , but the blooming flowers and trees make nature the perfect backdrop for your wedding day. While spring is associated with pastels, you shouldn’t feel limited to those color schemes. There are a lot of couples who are stepping out of the box and choosing unconventional colors for their spring vows. Here are some palettes to consider—along with emerging trends you can pair with them!

Sage Green + Yellow

A color for spring is Sage Green, which can be paired with pretty much any color you can think of. “You can even use sage to soften bright summery tones like yellow to create a balanced, colorful design plan,” she explains.

SPRING TREND:

Dresses with puff sleeves—inspired by Bridgerton—will be all the rage this season. We think they’ll look particularly pretty in soft spring hues.

Champagne, Green & Blush

Champagne is an unexpected neutral that gives a rich feel to an event, while green and blush simply never tire us

SPRING TREND:

Champagne Towers are back, says Froelich, so why not feature them with your champagne and blush color palette?

Taupe & Terracotta

Many couples will be gravitating towards natural Boho elements this spring, with taupe a clean base paired with Terra cotta for a pop of color that doesn’t feel too autumnal for a spring wedding, . Rust and dusty rose would also look beautiful if you’re not a Terracotta fan.

SPRING TREND:

Dried grasses and blooms will be popular floral options for spring couples.

Cherry Blossom & Fuchsia

Spring is the perfect time of year for this cheery color combo! The fuchsia adds that wow factor to the more subtle hue of cherry blossom, creating a palette that will surely impress your guests.

SPRING TREND:

This combo would look amazing for wedding centerpieces and plenty of greenary, as couples are still gravitating towards floral arrangements in bold colors.

Iridescent & Lavender

Loving an iridescent palette for spring weddings for a modern twist on pastels,” . “It's a surprising twist that complements a number of colors and adds a fun shimmer in glassware and décor.”

SPRING TREND:

This color palette also pairs well with disco balls—if that’s in your wheel house .

 Thank you to Aisle Planner Blog, where we gathered some of our information.

The Wall Street Journal says "Guest Pay More in Wedding Boom"

My husband always leaves me anything out of the Wall Street Journal or the New York Times any articles relating to the wedding industry. This morning in the Wall Street Journal that said “Big weddings are back, and nuptial boom of 2022 means couples and their families are facing big bills for celebrations. Their guest will have to pay too.”

pictures of newspapers

The Article goes on to say that there are 2.5 million estimated weddings to take place in the US in 2022. Wow! It goes onto say that in 2021 the average number of guest at a wedding was 105 people, in 2022 the average looks to be 129 guest is the average. These guest will be spending more than last year to attend weddings as well. 2021 found guest paying about $660 to attend a wedding by car, if they have to fly it was more like $1270.00. It said we should see a 10% increase this year in those prices.

Multiple couples being married

So I am not suggesting sharing your wedding with other couples to save money. I do however have some suggestions.

• Consider having your wedding on a weekday—This may help with costs and availability. With so many couples planning their weddings, weekends during high season demand a high ticket price and available vendors are very difficult to find. Many venues offer weekday discounts and if you don’t see if listed, you should always ask.

• Also consider planning your wedding during months that are not considered high season. Those months depending on your location but usually are January, February, early march,

• Make sure and send Save The Dates at least six months in advance. Now guest may have to spend more to attend your wedding, they will need more time to plan.

• Consider making your wedding a vacation for your guest. Maybe rent a large home or several homes on the beach for a week and while you are there, have your wedding. With so many people working remotely now, that sort of thing works better than it used to.

• Be willing to think outside the box. Try to think of ways to save money. Maybe do not pick the wedding venue that has the steep rental fee, Try to find a location such as an antique barn or if someone has a lovely yard. You must be willing to do a lot of work, because you will have to create y0our won wedding venue.

• We are currently working on weddings in 2023. I dont know if this a good thing or not to save money. It is a throw of the dice if you think prices(or inflation) are going to fall or rise

• Last but not least, if you need to have that weekend wedding during high season, just be prepared for the increased prices.

Carnations--Why does everybody hate them?

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Mocha Carnations

I love carnations. There, I have said it!!! Why shouldn’t I love them, they come in wonderful colors, smell fabulous, and last a long time. Growers continue to develop some amazing new colors, which you can see below. So why do carnations get a bad wrap? I can’t tell you how many clients we have had that say “absolutely no carnations”. Well I hope I can change your mind. Here goes…………………

See any colors that you like?

The carnation (Dianthus caryophyllus) is native to Eurasia and means "flower of the gods." This beautiful flower” grew wild on hillsides in Greece, and was first named by the Greek botanist Theophastus for the Greek words referring to the god Zeus (dios) and flower (anthos). Its first known historical reference is its use in garlands by Greeks and Romans. The common name may come from the words coronation or corone (flower garlands) from this first use of them. According to the Green Gardener

The First carnation came into this country in 1852 from France and now During peak cutting season, now 35-40 flights each day from South America bring carnations into the USA.. I guess someone has been using them.

All of the bouquets pictured above, the designers have used carnations in them. Do they look horrible and cheap? I don’t think so. I think the carnations add a color, size and an interesting texture.

All the above arrangements also use carnations. What do you think? Have I made a believer out of you? As a floral designer you are able to do a lot of with carnations, because unlike a lot of flowers, they can go with out water for a good amount of time. So you can string them like some of the pictures above, and they won’t wilt before your events.

Please give carnations a second chance. They really are beautiful flowers. And they can be used in so many different ways.